I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

And it's time to let them through

I hate myself

I mess up and get everything wrong

I wish I could be somebody else

Because then, I wouldn't write this song

I still remembered all the times I missed the answer

Even when my classmates forgot

I wish I was smarter and I paid attention better

So I wouldn't give those times any thought

I tell folks I'm fine, but the thought of suicide

Has crossed my mind these past five years

For real, I don't wanna be here

And I wanna make that unmistakably clear

'Cause I'm ugly as heck, I hate my neck

I've been losing all sorts of self-respect

Because of my peers and folks that hate me

And all that stuff is really starting to change me

I'm a pacifist, because I'm weak

I let folks walk all over me

I'm careful with everything I say

In case they might just ghost me and leave

It's gotten to the point where I like being sad

(And it bugs me, and it bugs me)

I wallow in self-pity for as long as I can

(I don't love me, I don't love me)

I'm desperate for love, I want it so bad

It seems like the only thing I never have

But I can't love anyone else

Until I love myself

I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

And it's time to let them through

I kinda miss the old me

Spending time in my room, feeling lonely

The fascination I have's taking control of me

And I just really want somebody to hold me

I don't vape, drink or think that weed's fun

When I get sad, I just carve into tree trunks

I might bleed some, but I won't be dumb

I'll just put on my long sleeves, son

I already might not thrive 'cause of my skin color

And I'm choosing not to be here? That's a bummer

I got a roof for the weather that's over my head

And dude, I still think that I'd be better off dead

Attempt after attempt, I'm still here

Every time I get close, man, I feel fear

Maybe I should stay here

But until then?

I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

I stay emotional

I really do

But I do my best to hide these emotions from you

And it's time to let them through

I can't love anyone else

Until I love myself

Until I love myself

Until I love myself

You know, it wasn't always like this