Harrison had a perfect life

With a big backyard and a red-meat diet

He was always on time and he never cried

Didn't pose or boast or showboat even though

Harrison had a perfect life

Preyed every day and he loved his wife

You could count on nothing ever going wrong for him

Until his wife left him for a vegetarian

One two three four five!

It was a shocking plot twist we've heard before

He had it all then lost it to an herbivore

When the unexpected wrecks you at your best

Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

But Harrison had great support

Friends helped him out through his divorce

They said: just get back on the horse

He said I don't know what that means

So Harry got a hobby and bought a telescope

Took it to the top of the hill to be alone

When he saw a shooting star and made a little wish on it for… hope

But then the news came on and said it was a comet headed straight for Earth!

It was a shocking plot twist all hope was lost

And from now on he'll not wish on giant rocks

When the unexpected wrecks you once again

Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

But instead of being shocked by the imminent apocalypse

He caught a little gossip 'round the office 'bout a rocket ship

And all he had to do was forge a couple little documents

To get a seat on the rescue ship

But when Harry snuck in to modify the manifest

He got caught! by someone he did not expect

The pesky vegetarian, Harry's very nemesis

From earlier in the song!

It was a shocking plot twist

So Harry hid the body and he headed straight home

His final meal eaten and his baggage all stowed

Tomorrow he was leaving, and Harrison was rarin' to go

But then he accidentally set his alarm for pm instead of am

So the rocket ship took off without him

Five four three two one!

It was a shocking plot twist, left on the ground

He had it all then got kicked while he was down

When the unexpected wrecks your last defense

Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

So Harrison watched the rocket fly away

While a single tear rolled down his cheek

And hit the ground 12 feet below

His cute neighbor with the weird neck came over and said

I can't believe we're going to experience the first comet-based

Mass extinction event in our planet's history

She said What position do you wanna be found in

By the humans… in 65 million years?

That's right… this whole time

Harrison was a dinosaur

One two three four five!

It was a shocking plot twist, he was a T-rex

And you all never saw this coming, I bet

But the unexpected Rex is hard to guess

When you make it up and you make it make no sense

So, Harrison, he died that day

Then we dug him up and put him on display

The scientists could not explain why

He was huggin' a brontosaurus

So there's just one thing left to twist

Our prehistoric biases

If you assume someone's like you be warned

They might actually be... a dinosaur