Franklin Shepard, Inc.

Now how do you two work together?

Oh, may I answer that?

How do we work together? Sure

He goes

And I go

And soon we're humming along, hmm-mm-mm

And that's called writing a song, hmm-mm-mm

Then he goes

And I go

And the phone goes drrrring!

And he goes, "Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, yes, Jerome

Mutter, no, Jerome

Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter"

That's his lawyer, Jerome

"Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, do it, Jerome"

Click, "Sorry, Charley"

So I go

And he goes

And I go

And soon we're tapping away, hmm-mm-mm

Bzzz! "Sorry, Charley"

Bzzz! It's the secretary

Bzzz! On the intercom

"Yes, Miss Bzzz?"

"It's a messenger"

"Thanks, Miss Bzzz, will you tell him to wait?

Will you order the car? Will you call up the bank?

Will you wire the coast? Will you-"

Drrrring! "Sorry, Charley"

"Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, sell the stock

Mutter, buy the rights

Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter," bzzz!

"Let me put you on hold," bzzz!

"Yes, Miss Bzzz"

"It's the interview"

"Thanks, Miss Bzzz, will you tell him to wait?

Will you wire the car? Will you order the coast?

Will you send up the bank?"

And the telephones blink, and the stocks get sold

And the rest of us he keeps on hold

And he's into making movies

And he's now a corporation, right

So I play at home with my wife and kids

And I wait to hear the movie bids

And I've got a little sailboat

And I'm into meditation, right

He flies off to California

I discuss him with my shrink

That's the story of the way we work

Me and Franklin Shepard, Inc

Ha-ha, I am beginning to enjoy this

I promise to be honest if you promise to handle the lawsuit

Now Frank, when you do work together, I've always been curious

Which generally comes first, the words or the music?

Oh, generally, the contract

Oh, that sounds like you think making money is a bad thing for an artist

Money?

Did I say money?

No, I like money a lot, hmm-mm-mm

I mean, it's better than not, hmm-mm-mm

But when it's, rrah, money

Rrah, rrah, money, huh

When you're into, huh, money

And you should be

Listen, Frank does the money thing very well, but you know what?

Other people do it better

And Frank does the music thing very well

And you know what? No one does it better

Still, the telephones blink, and the buzzers buzz

And I really don't know what he does

But he makes a ton of money

And a lot of it for me, right

So I think "Okay," and I start a play

But he somehow knows 'cause right away, it's drrrring!

"Hiya, buddy, wanna write a show?

I got a great idea, we'll own all the rights

With a two-week out, and a turnaround on the guarantee

Plus a gross percent of the billing clause"

And there I am in California

Talking deals and turning pink

Back in business and I mean just that

Back with Franklin Shepard, Inc

Very sneaky how it happens

Much more sneaky than you think

Start with nothing but a song to sing

Next, you're Franklin Shepard

Oh, wait a second, wait one second

I am getting in too deep here

Franklin, let me ask you

See, Frank and I are not that kind of close

Not like we used to be

Now, Frank

And friendship is like a garden

You have to water it and tend it and care about it

And you know what? I miss it and I want it back

Look, nothing permanent has happened

Just a temporary kink

Friendship's something you don't really lose

Ladies and gentlemen, don't let me lose the greatest composer any lyricist has ever had

Phone him, write him, stop him on the street

You'll recognize him, he's the one going through his checkbook

And tell that man to get back to his piano

Very sneaky how it happens

Every day you're on the brink

First the prizes, then the interviews

Oh my God, I think it's happened

Stop me quick before I sink

One more triumph that I can't refuse

In case you didn't notice, this is my first time on TV and my last

No, here's the point, whatever happens

Then we'll all go have a drink

That's the guy I love, the fella who's

Inside "Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter

Quick, Jerome, get the president, there's a crazy man on my TV screen"

Inside bzzz! Bzzz! Drrring!

Inside Franklin Shepard

Just write him care of Any Bank, U.S.A.

Inc