Cod Liver Oil and Orange Juice

Oot o' the East there came a hard man

Oh oh, a' the way frae Brigton

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Cod liver oil and the orange juice

He went intae a pub, an' he cam oot paralytic

Oh oh, VP an' cider

Ah haw, what a helluva mixture

Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais

I'm looking for a lumber

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary

Oh oh, the floo'er o' the Gorbals

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Oh noo Mary, are ye dancin'

Naw, naw, it's jist the way ah'm stannin'

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Oh Mary, yer wan in a million

Oh oh, so's yer chances

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Well then Mary, can ah run ye hame

Oh oh, ah've got a pair o' sandshoes

Ah haw, yer helluva funny

(Never say die ... sways aboot nonchalantly

Picks his nails wi' his bayonet

And hew knocks it off!)

Doon through the back close an' intae the dunny

It wasnae for the first time

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Then oot cam her mammy, she's goin' tae the cludgie

Oh oh, ah buggered off sharpish

Ah haw, glory hallelujah

Hairy Mary looking for her hard man

Oh oh, he's jined the Foreign Legion

Ah haw, Sahara an' ra camels

Then Hairy Mary had a little baby

Oh oh, its faither's in the Army

Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...