Growing Sideways

So I took my medication and I poured my trauma out

On some sad-eyed, middle-aged man's overpriced new leather couch

And we argued about Jesus, finally found some middle-ground

Said, "I'm cured"

And I divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts

Keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart

I'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them

But it's a start

But I ignore things and I move sideways

Till I forget what I felt in the first place

At the end of the day, I know there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

I guess I'll drive

So I forgot my medication, fell into a manic high

Spent my savings at a Lulu, now I'm sufferin' in style

Why is pain so damn impatient? Ain't like it's got a place to be

Keeps rushin' me

But I ignore things and I move sideways

Till I forget what I felt in the first place

At the end of the day, I know there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

And if all my life was wasted

I don't mind, I'll watch it go

Yeah, it's better to die numb than feel it all

Oh, if all my time was wasted

I don't mind, I'll watch it go

Yeah, it's better to die numb than feel it all

But I ignore things and I move sideways

Till I forget what I felt in the first place

At the end of the day, Lord knows there are worse ways to stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

I guess I'll drive