I'm waging war with myself

Not sure if I should listen to my body

Or the brain that's giving hell

I wish it wasn't so easy to exhale and let it go

(Don't you ever want to hold it in?)

'Cause I wanna feel this hate, this hate get physical

In meditation I would lie

(To myself, how I'd lie to myself, how I'd lie)

Breaking my own code

Pushing my limits 'til I've made myself blind

"It's not so bad"

And "I could never be like that"

All the sense that I've spent on defence

Could never be paid back

"It's not so bad"

And "I could never be like that"

All the sense that I've spent on this defence

Could never be paid back

Fuck what you made me

Look what you made me do

The vow I've taken to love all that we go through

And to understand

I've laughed off the anger, the outrage

"That's not who I am"

And yet I am

I was told to get out of my head

Release my reservations, stop making it make sense

How do I get there if I don't want to make it real?

I wanna feel the hate get physical

But I don't trust the way it feels

Ah, you know I'll never be like that

I'll accept violence at my expense

But when I turn my back

Mm, I wanna feel the hate get

Physical

Fuck what you made me

Look what you made me do

The vow I've taken to love all that we go through

And to understand

I've laughed off the anger, the outrage

"That's not who I am"

And yet I am

(It's not so bad)

Sedate me before I ever get cynical

'Cause I wanna feel the hate get physical

(It's not so bad)

Sedate me before I ever get cynical

'Cause I wanna feel the hate get physical