Mini Bar (feat. John Daly)

I was holed up in a hotel somewhere south of Abilene

Standing in that shower when I heard my cellphone ring

She said, "I found a banker now so don't you even bother coming home"

I just stood there in a towel, wondered what the hell to do

I looked out the window and then I looked around the room

And right there by the TV was the thing that helped me forget that she was gone

I got drunk on that mini bar

Put it all on her credit card

She'll find out when she gets the bill

That I got pretty messed up Friday night

Hell, but that's alright

Then I called up my old go-to

She came over and had a few

We sat there on that king-sized bed

Drank 'til there was nothing left

Wearing out that hotel mini bar

Oh, tell 'em, JD

They had fifteen-dollar cashews, thirty-dollar scotch

Quick trip to the ice machine, I poured it all on the rocks

There were forty-seven flavors there to savor

Lord, we had 'em all

I had a ball

I got drunk on that mini bar

Put it all on her credit card

She'll find out when she gets the bill

That I got pretty **** up Friday night

Hell, but that's alright

Then I called up my old go-to

She came over and had a few

We sat there on that king-sized bed

Popping tops and twisting lids

Wearing out that hotel mini bar

This shit gon' hurt like hell in the morning

Well, Max was a bitch and sometimes verbally abusive

Her credit card is 5-5-6-5, 24-33, 8-2-2-3-5-5-3-3

Case you wanna use it

Go get drunk on some mini bar

Put it all on her credit card

She'll find out when she gets the bill

We all got pretty **** up Friday night

Hell, but that's alright

Go on, call up your old go-to

Bring her over and have a few

Sit right there on that king-sized bed

Drink 'til there ain't nothing left

Wearing out that hotel mini bar

Yes, sit there on that king-sized bed

Popping tops and twisting lids

Wearing out that hotel mini bar

She's gonna be broke, I hope she **** dies after— (Hotel mini bar)

**** you, you **** ****

Ah, shit