I make my living off the evening news

Just give me something, something I can use

People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry

Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here

I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear

Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

We got the bubble-headed bleached-blonde, comes on at 5

She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye

It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?

You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet

"Get the widow on the set," we need dirty laundry

You don't really need to find out what's goin' on

You don't really wanna know just how far it's gone

Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies

We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie

We love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry

We can do "The Innuendo," we can dance and sing

When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing

We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

When they're up, when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up