Drown in Fog

I struggle

I choke on thick and heavy air

I drown

I can't breathe

Neither awake nor sleepwalking

Both alive and dead

A heavy blanket

Colorless and odorless

A stale saturation

Of grays and whites

Every breath Leaves a film across

Tooth and jaw

Neither hot nor cold

Neither bitter nor sweet

Perfectly satisfactory

Hospitable as anything

Pale and lukewarm

Tasteless and palatable

Nothing is the matter nothing is wrong

Nothing is the matter

Nothing is wrong

This is not a riddle

This is not a grievance

Not even a faceless entity

This isn't something i hate

I trudge

Leniently through the fog

I am devoured by mist

I do not feel pain

In malignant benevolence

I cannot find my way

Without a frame of reference

Yesterday is today and tomorrow is the same

I have no qualms, no fears

No hurt, no tears

There is no disorderliness at play

I believe I am comfortable

But I dont think i'd ever know the difference

As the simmering stagnance takes hold

I begrudgingly obey

I cannot complain I brought myself here

Rid me of numbness

Without cold winters

The grass is not soft

The sun is not warm

The sky is gray

A necessary evil

Dont keep the pain at bay

I am ready to accept pain

I am ready to suffer

If I die

I want to have lived

I am exiting the fog

I am unsure of what I will find

No longer suffocated

No longer obliged

I forgive the fog

As I forgive myself