I miss the way that it was

You were the only one

The only one that really knew me

The only one that knew my heat

But now I'm back

If I could rewind time like a tape

Inside a boombox

One day for every pill

Or Percocet that I ate

Cut down on the Valium

I'da heard everything

But death is turning so definite, wait

They got me all hooked up to some machine

I love you, Bean

Didn't want you to know I was struggling

Feels like I'm underwater

Submerged like a submarine

Just heard that nurse say

My liver and kidneys aren't functioning

Been flirtatious with death

Skirt-chasing, I guess

It's arrivederci

Same nurse, just heard say

They're unplugging me

And it's your birthday

Jade, I'm missing your birthday

Baby girl, I'm sorry

I fucking hate when you hurt, Hai

And sweeties, thank you for waiting

To open gifts

But, girls, you can just open 'em

Dad ain't making it home for Christmas

Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss

I go to make a fist

But I can't make one, I'm frozen stiff

I miss the way that it was

You were the only one

The only one that really knew me

The only one that knew my hurt

I yell, but nothing comes out

I'm crying inside, I shout

My vocal cords won't permit me

I scream, but it's not aloud

You put your arm around mama

To calm her, wow

I just thought about the aisle

I'll never get to walk us down

Never see you

Graduate in your caps and gowns

It's 'bout to be 2008

How's this happening now?

I've got so much more to do

And Proof, I'm truly sorry

If I let you down, but this tore me in two

The thought of no more me and you

You gave me shoes, Nikes like new

For me for school

Doody, I'm trying, but you

You were the glue that binded

So many things, time

I'd give anything to rewind it

I had to walk down my halls

And constantly be reminded

By pictures all on my walls

And I couldn't sleep at night 'cause

That image burned in my brain

Of you on the table

Me falling across your body

Not able to stand to save you

I miss the way that it was

You were the only one

The only one that really knew me

The only one that knew my hurt

But now I'm just in the dark

God, why did you take him?

I'm tryna keep his legacy alive

But I'm dying, where's Nathan?

Little ladies, be brave

Take care of your mother

Smile pretty for pictures

Always cherish each other

I'll always love ya

And I'll be in the back of your memory

And I know you'll never forget me

Just don't get sad when remembering

And, little bro, keep making me proud

You better marry that girl

'Cause she's faithfully down

And when you're exchanging those sacred vows

Just know that if I could be there, I would

And should you ever see parenthood

I know you'll be good at it

Oh, almost forgot to do something

Thank my father too

I actually learnt a lot from you

You taught me what not to do

And Mom, wish I'd have had the chance

To have one last heart-to-heart

Honest and open talk to you

Doody, I see you

I go to walk to you

And I can feel my soul leave my body

And float across the room

Nurses lean over the bed

Pulling tubes out

Then the sheet over my head

Shut the room down

Girls, please don't get upset

I see those cheeks soaking and wet

As you squeeze hold of my neck

So forcibly, don't wanna let

Me go, pillow drenched

Emotional wrecks

With every second each closer to death

But suddenly, I feel my heart

Begin to beat slow, then a breath

Machines go

Must've guessed the cheat codes to this shit

I'm tryna rewind time like a tape

Find an escape

Make a beeline

Try and awake

From this dream, I need to re-find

My inner strength

To remind me

Even if a steep climb I must take

To rewrite a mistake

I'm rewinding the tape

I miss the way that it was

You were the only one

The only one that really knew me

The only one that knew my hurt

But now I'm just in the dark

I miss the way that it was

You were the only one

The only one that really knew me

The only one that knew my hurt

But now I'm just in the dark

I miss the way that it was