Every time I come home

I get sad, how fucked is that

I feel like I'm on drugs sitting at the river's edge

Even though I'm completely sober

I forgot what the month of March felt like

It felt like

A weight on my shoulders

While I'm getting older

and still getting over

The avoidance in the mornings

The stale smell of cigarettes

Down the hallway, turn the corner

You're bleeding and the fault was mine

I saw you, in the bedroom

Stuck the needle in your own eye

Remember what March felt like

Every time I come home

I'm reminded of the temporary nature of this life

That we're living just to die

I feel like time moves faster everyday

Caught in the monotonous way it all bleeds together

I forgot what I did last night

I wrote down all my feelings

And stared at the ceiling, attempting to get over

The pain from the lying

Embarrassed to be crying at our shitty Valentines dinner

Its been three months now, of feeling like a fool

Remembering what March was about

Quick recall

Slow to forget it all

Perpetuate the cycle

Perpetuate my own doubts

Alone and avoidant

In my head at the river's edge

Every time I come home to clear my head

It all resurfaces