One, two, one, two, go

I need some help

Finding the straps of my boots

Well, they evicted my flip-flops

And my Birkenstocks won't do

Well, did a man-made famine and shut the factory down?

I know it's bad in Bangladesh, but I hate this town

I need some help

Finding the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps

I'm ditching the sandals

I need heavy equipment

I need two with handles

Give a hoot

Show me the straps of my boots

They on the front or the back?

Mine are men's, don't it matter, too?

They raised the rent on my socks

But my callouses are getting grue

Well, inflation blew up everything but my ties

Man, I'd overdraft the bank

But the card's expired

I need some help

Finding the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps

I'm ditching the sandals

I need heavy equipment

I need two with handles

Give a hoot

Show me the straps of my boots

Did they get blown off in a storm?

A negligent pontoon

Well I heard somebody say

That my Crocs weren't really shoes

Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil

I've just had a long day

And I hate the Eagles

Now I'm running down the road

Lookin' for the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps

I'm ditching the sandals

I need heavy equipment

I need two with handles

Give a hoot

Show me the straps of my boots

Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil

I've just had a long day

And I hate the Eagles

Now I'm running down the road

Lookin' for the straps of my boots

Oh, I need some boots with straps

I'm ditching the sandals

I need heavy equipment

I need two with handles

Give a hoot

And show me the straps of my boots