How do I get rid of the itch without scratching it?

Yeah, what is alone time?

I go back and forth between

Praying and screwing up

I give advice on my darkest days

But I wonder if I should give it all away

Think I forgot how to be alone

Or maybe reverted to something old

Or maybe I never even tried

Maybe I lied every time I cried

Maybe I don't deserve all the

Gifts that He gave me

Made me for a reason

Thinking crazy

Little man and I'm feeling lazy

Isolation got me feeling hazy

Roman 7:15, Imma spaz on a demon

Imma spaz any season

I'm on earth for a reason

I'm on earth for a-

Can't make a promise, no Jephthah

Gotta confess to my brothers

Showing His love like Numbers

Am I safe? I wonder

Pray to You, no other

Gotta confess to my brothers

Showing His love like Numbers

Am I safe? I wonder

Putting my faith in defense mode

Saying I'll change, but I can't though

Gotta make sure nobody knows

My repentin' lookin' like a stage show

Reading my lines from my memory

I've been reading these for like a century

I've been acting out, doing my treachery

Asking questions like, am I in jeopardy?

How do I become a better me?

How do I unlock my destiny?

Already know the answer

I'm disrespectful, don't honor my legacy

I've been yelling at the enemy

I've been yelling in the mirror

Blame the devil for my problems

Why I let him in the picture?

Know it's all just mental

I've been so judgmental

I keep planning out my sin

No, this ain't accidental

I know there's potential

I forgive myself today

He forgive me every day

He forgive me

I don't deserve you

I just want more you

I just want blessings

I'm too selfish

I don't deserve you

I just want more you

Want a good ending

I ain't helpless

I don't deserve you

I just want more you

I just want blessings

I'm too selfish

I don't deserve you

I just want more you

Want a good ending

Help me

Therapist: All you're doing is sitting around waiting for something to give. You're not getting down to the root of the problem. Maybe instead of waiting for God to finally heal you, you should just man up and take responsibility for your actions