I'd like to have a little monkey of my own

I'd make him do things that would make me the talk of the town

I'd make him do things that would be good

I'd slap it in the face to put him in his place

Oh, he'll love that

Ooh, he'll love that!

And in the morning, he'll make me a cup of tea

Everyone is jealous

Jealous of me and my monkey

Ooh, my monkey!

And the world is so hard

And my dreams won't come true

Why won't they come true?

You'll wanna share him but I won't let you

It's far too personal

It's nothing to do with you

I'd slap him when he's bad, kiss him when he's good

Catch monkey diseases?

Oh, I wish I could

I wish I could!

I wish I could catch them every day

But the world is so hard

And my dreams won't come true

They never come true

I'd like to have a little monkey of my own

I'd make him do things that would make me the talk of the town

And the whole wide world

Me and my magic monkey

My little monkey is my one and only

I'll call him Derek, or I will call him Tony

I might call him Dave

But the world is so hard

But the world it's oh, so hard

And my dreams?

Well, they'll never come true