Guilty

Trauma is a constriction

It's a narrowing

It's a diminishment of your emotional function

Psychological function

So what I'm saying about trauma

Is that trauma is not what happens to you

Trauma is what happens inside you

As a result of what happens to you

I'm tired of feeling pain

I'm tired of feeling stress

I'm tired of all this shit I gotta get up off my chest

Cuz don't nobody give a fuck when it's time to think 'bout

Hec, remember times when I was stuck

And all I had to do was step

Man, I'm tired of all this trauma

Got me venting to my mama

Like, why my life been changing

But I'd rather have my trauma

Shit, ain't this supposed to be better for me

Ain't this like a medal for me

Ain't this God's way of showing me

He got a blessing for me

I'm flawed for my testimony

Guilty for my feelings

Feel like ain't nobody checking on me

I just need some healing

Shit, I just need some time to help myself

And let my tears flow

I just need some time to talk to God

and let my fears go

I'm tired of all this pain

I'm tired of all this stress

I'm tired of tiptoeing

I'm not trying to watch my step

I'm not trying to give a fuck about nobody

Give a fuck about myself

And all the things I better do

I just want better for myself

There's also this belief, of course

That if I say no, I feel guilty, right

Well, let me tell you about guilt a little bit

Because you need to learn to get into

A different relationship with guilt

Okay

The only way to deal with guilt

Is to make friends with it

When you try not to feel it

When you try not to feel guilty

You always end up in trouble

I'm tired of feeling pain

I'm tired of feeling stress

I'm tired of all this shit

I need to get it off my chest

Now I'm on the phone with Ky

It's late night

We talking death

Seen my cousin in a box

The gray was peeking out her flesh

And we talking about our pain

We talking about our struggle

We talking about them years

Of **** seen they mothers hustle

We talking about our dreams

And how we trying to do our best

I just pray my mama see me win

Before she lose her breath

It's Hec