Jealous (Of My Friends)

I used to be happy, I used to be fine

I used to say good things come in time

I used to be patient, I used to have fun

Before I started to compare myself to everyone

I used to be calm, I used to have grace

Now a mild panic has taken its place

What if I am never as good as you?

What has my whole life amounted to?

Every time I think I'm better

I open up my phone and I remember

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

They say the grass is always greener but I don't look good in green

I'm the worst, they should throw me in jail

It's nice to see them win but I'd rather see them fail

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

When one of them is happy, I take it personally

So what? So does everyone else

I'm not a bad friend that's what I keep telling myself

I used to be hopeful, I used to dream

Now I can't help feeling like a washed up has been

There was a time I had faith in myself

Before I tried to measure up to everybody else

I swear I'm happy for you, I can swallow my pride

I know what they say about a rising tide

So why do I take it as a personal attack?

It's like you take a step forward and I take two back

So every time I think I'm better

I open up my phone and I remember

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

They say the grass is always greener but I don't look good in green

I'm the worst, they should throw me in jail

It's nice to see them win but I'd rather see them fail

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

When one of them is happy, I take it personally

So what? So does everyone else

I'm not a bad friend that's what I keep telling myself

That's what I keep telling myself

There's nothing to defend

I'm not a bad friend

That's what I keep telling

That's what I keep telling

That's what I keep telling myself

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

They say the grass is always greener but I don't look good in green

I'm the worst, they should throw me in jail

It's nice to see them win but I'd rather see them fail

I'm jealous of my friends and they're jealous of me

When one of them is happy, I take it personally

So what? So does everyone else

I'm not a bad friend that's what I keep telling myself