Double Dick Derek

Double Dick Derek wasn't born like you or me

Cos the Lord left him hangin' with a pair where one should be

So he went into the world to find out how to get along

And to rise above the trials of a man with a double dong

And I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

When he was just a babe his mumma dressed him in nappies

But the extra large was too small for the boy with the double d's

And so began the days of custom made underwear

To prevent the boys from brawlin' from the the lack of room down there

And I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

Well adolescence came and girls began to hang around

But when he got a stiffy poor old Derek would pass out

So he choked the chickens daily in the dark with sweaty brow

Like a dairy farmer milking his beloved dairy cow

And I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

Well Derek got so down he wondered what he'd done so wrong

For the Lord to endow him with two dicks instead of one

So as he held the knife to the one on the right

And took a breath to cut it off

He met a girl who would change his world

And make him proud of what he's got

Multi Muff Melissa took the knife out of his hand

And when she kissed him Derek felt a stirring in his pants

Now I challenge you to find a more romantic scenario

Than the image of a double dick right there in a double hole

And I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

I'm singing

Oh Double Dick Derek

They were legendary lovers they were made for one another

Double Dick Derek

If I had his genetic makeup I'd be twice the man and twice the slut

Double Dick Derek

And so concludes my little song about the boy with the double dong

It's Double Dick Derek