What Could Have Been

I could contemplate and speculate so endlessly

Theorized each life that'd never be

Why do I simulate or recreate incessantly

The roads that could have led to you and me

I have hypothesized and fantasized so senselessly

Tried to overcome a raging sea

Oh, I've been traumatized and mesmerized perceptibly

Imagining a love that'd never be

And no amount of time will help me know

What could have been

These thoughts are incomplete and bittersweet relentlessly

Averting comforting release

Instead my self-deceit is on repeat so mindlessly

Denying me a restful, quiet peace

Lost in thought

Lost in grief and despair

This emptiness inside my soul, so much to bear

And out of desperation, consolation helplessly

Looking back, and wishing to foresee

And in seeking affirmation, restoration carelessly

Using up my time and energy

And no amount of love can ease the blow

Of what would have been

And no amount of pain will ever show

What should have been