Cupholders

Free the hand, free the man

Free the hand, free the man

I remember what the world was like before cupholders

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good

Now they keep our drinks upright

And our cold drinks colder

It's so nice when something works the way it should

Now we have them in our boats, lawnmowers and airplanes

In our golf carts, our wheelchairs and our cars

And in our bathrooms, there are some

That fold up when we're done

You can find one nearly anywhere you are

So why isn't everybody happy?

Why so much discontent and strife?

And when I feel like Styrofoam

Baby, you make me feel at home

Yes, you're the cupholder of my life

Free the hand, free the man

Free the hand, free the man

With our cell phones, our drones and computers

Before these things, how did we survive?

Now we rarely have to think

About a place to set our drink

What a beautiful time to be alive

Now some people say "cupholders"

Others say "cuffolder" (Cuffolder)

Pronouncing the "P-H" as an "F"

There are two schools of thought

And discussions can get hot

But actually, either one's correct

So why isn't everybody happy?

Why so much discontent and strife?

When my life is in the can

Baby, you're my place to land

Yes, you're the cupholder of my life

Free the hand, free the man

Free the hand, free the man

Cupholder (Cupholder)