A Reptile Dysfunction

I've got a pet snake who is physically incapable of love

He's like my best friend who would kiss me when we got shitfaced on his drugs

He'd pull my shirt over my head, I lean in close and kiss him back

I say "I've dreamt of this since I was 15," man how corny is that?

(FUCK!)

I knew a gecko who would stick to walls but always bit my hand

She's like the mad spiteful consistency of songs made for my band

Why can't I make a good foundation, making songs that bring me joy

Instead of immortalizing things that make me feel hopeless and annoyed?

Like you give one rat's ass

I've got three months left inside me

After that, man, I don't know

I've grown up, I've picked my poison

Give the blame where it is owed

A burmese python, I'm a nuisance in a place I don't belong

But moving to Portland won't solve all your problems, I've known all along

I moved to the east coast to write lyrics that are both cunning and so clever

Like "They say the good die far too young, you know you're gonna live forever!"

You've heard that one before

Just shut up and perform

I've got two months left within me

And it's hard to fathom more

You were right to leave without me

I'd just weigh you to the floor

Komodo dragons, we're the apex on a tiny chunk of land

But drop me in a bigger scene, you'll watch me falter where I stand

I'll eat what remains of my friends, sell my soul, and then cash out

And when I'm dying in my 80's, it'll be inside an empty house

Just alone with my pets

It's not like they love me back

I've got one month left before me

Cross my T's and dot my I's

After all your best intentions

I still spend all day inside

I've got one month (One month, one month)

I've got one week (One week, one week)

I've got one day (One day, one day)

Feed my snake after I'm gone

I've got-