Paralyzing

I lay here on the kitchen floor, staring

At the ceiling, numb feeling

I turn my phone off to block out all the noise, but

I can't escape it, I can't take it

And every night, there's a war

In my head

And it's so paralyzing

And nobody knows what I'm like

I'm self-sabotaging

'Cause I'm always too scared to try

Wanna be a lover, wanna be a fighter

But all I ever do is hide and fucking lie here

I'm a stranger in my own eyes

Wishing I were someone better at my life

It's so paralyzing, oh, oh

Keep faith is what everybody tells me

It's not forever, it gets better

But every night, there's still a war

In my head

And it's so paralyzing

And nobody knows what I'm like

I'm self-sabotaging

'Cause I'm always too scared to try

Wanna be a lover, wanna be a fighter

But all I ever do is hide and fucking lie here

I'm a stranger in my own eyes

Wishing I were someone better at my life

It's so paralyzing, oh, oh

I try to pick myself back up

Keep my demons out of touch

Like maybe that could be enough

To keep me hanging on

So every night, there's a war

I keep fighting

And it's so paralyzing

And nobody knows what I'm like

I'm self-sabotaging

'Cause I'm always too scared to try

Wanna be a lover, wanna be a fighter

But all I ever do is hide and fucking lie here

I'm a stranger in my own eyes

Wishing I were someone better at my life

And it's so paralyzing, oh, oh

It's so paralyzing, oh, oh