Only Thing I Love

I hate my fuckin' boss and I hate my fuckin' job

I hate my dumb ex-wife and her stupid boyfriend cop

I hate all other countries and I hate when people talk

But, boy, do I love bein' home alone and jerkin' off

I jerk off all the time, I jerk off every day

I jack off every night in my jacked-up Chevrolet

I jerk off when I'm sleepin' and I jerk when I'm awake

And, boy, I love to walk down busy streets and masturbate

I jerk off on the couch, I'm jerkin' off right now

I jerk off to the thought of jerkin' off and holy cow

I'm deputy, a ding-dong drummin', triple-grippin', 'tator tuggin'

King of crankin' off my junk and that's the only thing I love

In my dirty muddy pickup, drivin' bumpy with my dick up

Bustin' all up in my dip cup, I'm the boss of bein' bricked up

Blistered knuckles, I won't quit

I'm bustin' nuts while on the shitter

Whiskey wranglin' tipsy twister, jerkin' off is why I live

I'm the big rig bone rubbin', sock-stained, stroke lovin'

Wizard of the wiener, jerkin' off is all I need

I jerk off all the time, I jerk off every day

I jack off every night in my jacked-up Chevrolet

I jerk off when I'm sleepin' and I jerk when I'm awake

And, boy, I love to walk down busy streets and masturbate

I jerk off on the couch, I'm jerkin' off right now

I jerk off to the thought of jerkin' off and holy cow

I'm deputy, a ding-dong drummin', triple-grippin', 'tator tuggin'

King of crankin' off my junk and that's the only thing I love, yeah