The Mother of My Children

The mother of my children

Is getting fat as hell

She gave birth to our babies

And then turned into a whale

She loves her Dr. Pepper

And she loves her deep fried food

She's so fucking fat that

I get nauseous when she's nude

She jiggles when she walks

And she wheezes when she laughs

She's got stretch marks on her face

And even more on her ass

She's a great mother to our children

But I still have to say

If she keeps getting fatter

I'm divorcing her today

She's a damn good woman

Did all that she could

Raised our babies

And cooked like she should

But her fat ass face

And her fat ass legs

Make me run away

When she wants to have sex

She's three hundred pounds

And her ass is still flat

I'm divorcing my wife

Because she got so fucking fat

She jiggles when she walks

And she wheezes when she laughs

She's got stretch marks on her face

And even more on her ass

She's a great mother to our children

But I still have to say

If she keeps getting fatter

I'm divorcing her today

I'm divorcing my wife

Because she got so fucking fat