I got a roommate.

He doesn't pay rent. He doesn't help with the bills.

He just lives in the back of my head... and he never, ever shuts up.

He's the first one I hear when I wake up in the mornin',

Points out every flaw, every crack, without a single warnin'.

He's judgin' every stranger, the person in the mirror,

Whisperin' 'bout my failures, makin' every doubt feel clearer.

He'll make a comment on your outfit, a thought that's cruel and base,

A judgment that I never asked for, leavin' poison in its place.

And I can't control it, can't evict him, can't just tell him to get out,

He's a part of me I hate.... the very thing I'm all about..........

Then the emptiness comes creepin', a fog that's thick and gray,

The simplest task's a mountain that I'll climb some other day.

He tells me I'm a burden, that I'm just a waste of space,

Points out every past mistake, every single lost race.

So I just sit there paralyzed, a prisoner in my chair,

Drowning in the silence, breathing in the poisoned air.

And he's my own worst enemy, the bully in my brain,

The one who finds a sick enjoyment in struggle and pain.

I try to push him down, I try to bury him so deep,

But the promises of silence are the ones he'll never keep.

This ain't a demon, ain't a ghost, it's a part of my own soul,

And the never-ending battle is for who's in real control.

But then my wife will grab my hand, her touch is warm and real,

And it cuts right through the numbness that he's tryin' to make me feel.

My kid will run into the room and climb up on my knee,

And for a second, in their eyes, a different man I see.

They don't hear him, they don't see him, they just see the man they love,

And their faith is like a holy light sent down from up above.

That light becomes a weapon, a shield against the shade,

For them, I'll fight the battle that the bully has been paid

to wage inside my spirit. For them, I'll stand up tall,

And use the very hands he hates to answer duty's call.

It ain't about just gettin' by, it's about takin' back the ground,

Turning all his hateful whispers into a triumfant

sound.

And he's my own worst enemy, the bully in my brain,

But now I've found a purpose for his struggle and his pain.

I don't have to push him down, I just put him to the test,

And use his hate for imperfection to be better than the rest.

He's still a part of my own soul, but he doesn't get a say,

I'm the one who's in control and I'm the one who wins the day.

For years I tried to kill him, to starve him of the air,

But I've learned you can't destroy a part of you that's always there.

You can't bury him forever, but you can put him in his place,

You can take the wheel yourself and set a brand new fuckin' pace.

He gave me this obsession, this eye for every flaw,

So I'll use his own damn weapon to enforce my own new law.

So I take his hate for imperfection... and I put it on the paint.

I take his obsessive criticism... and I turn it to a saint-

like focus. Every swirl mark is a flaw he can't ignore.

Every perfectly clean interior is me settlin' the score.

I take his endless, nagging voice... and I give it a kick and snare.

I build a world so clean and perfect that he cannot touch me there.

He's still with me. He's always with me.

But he ain't the one drivin' anymore.