12 O'clock I'm taking shots, knock them back until the night blurs

Slumped behind the mic, I'm quiet till I find the right words

Shed so many tears throughout the years, my fucking eyes hurt

Never thought I'd make it to this age, I thought I'd die first

It's hard to sleep at night because all I have is nightmares

I killed my ego so I can admit that I'm scared

I see death around the corner, look it's right there

I'm trying run from it, hide from it, I swear

That I'm haunted, there's monsters that have it out for me

I catch myself looking down from my balcony

Then I remember that there's people that still count on me

And I can't let them down, they love me and they vouch for me

Ain't no color in this world, it's all been stripped away

I guess that's why it's hard to live to see another day

I'm just banking on the chance someday my life will change

What's the worst thing that could happen? Shit stays the same

Faded mental state, I'm spinning in a different mode

Vagabond, I strayed away, I'm far away from home

At least I'm working on myself, I have more self-control

Than I ever had before but I still feel alone

I'm lost in a dream in the deep end

Dead weight dragged down, I'm sinking

I'm blacked-out drunk every weekend

Monday to Monday I sleep in

Can't stand when reality sinks in

Black heart is broken in pieces

Life's hard, I'm searching for reasons

Where's God when you really need him?

Flip the switch, code red, it's an emergency

My past is catching up to me, it's fucking hurting me

In a maze, I'm exactly where I deserve to be

No one sees me trying to heal, they only see the worst in me

I'm not being dramatic, I'm not okay with this feeling

I'm not trying to force an image, you all just find mine appealing

My words are therapy, spit out my pains, the gift I was given

I'm just a vessel expressing emotions that we all deal with

Holding on to hope, hanging on by a thread

Don't wanna be alone but we all are in the end

I don't want to get too deep in my head

I don't want to think about me being dead

Innocent heart wrecking scars, I've got hard luck

From now on, I'm cautious, I'm putting a wall up

I'm keeping my guard up, I'm done getting caught up

I'll try pushing forward 'til I turn to stardust

I'm lost in a dream in the deep end

Dead weight dragged down, I'm sinking

I'm blacked-out drunk every weekend

Monday to Monday I sleep in

Can't stand when reality sinks in

Black heart is broken in pieces

Life's hard, I'm searching for reasons

Where's God when you really need him?