Never assume, it makes an arse of you and you alone

And if you're right?

You're not a Knight to be anointed

Your bogus podium remains the same when I'm exposed

Behold the dickhead with their big bag full of bonus points

I went to town to sand down the edges

I wore a suit and scaled the tallest building

Hanging off the slightest ledges

My fingers gripped tight from a great height

As I pressed my face against the glass

And dialed up the bass in both of my front wedges

I saw the cars below and read aloud their custom regs

They cut relentless crescents in the August snow

Making U-turn after U-turn on their empty pledges

Look at 'em all burnt out with nowhere left to go

An astra, ten cans trailing

Decimated by spray paint red

The wedding present

Swerved the dent in the road where my head went when I fell

I wonder if they know who David Gedge is

And how long I've left with all these thoughts

Before I reach the gates of

Hello, how you doing?

I'm doing very well

I've done absolutely nothing since I last saw you four years ago

Ah, how you doing, yeah, I'm still chipping away

But I've got absolutely nothing

Absolutely nothing new to say

The city bleeds but I'm not from here

I retain the right to roam

I built a life rife with promise and squandered solace in monochrome

The monitors popped and my ears bled

But I preserved with a public facing air of nonchalance

The empty promise came full circle more than once

Oh behave

I get between the sheets and pray it's just a dream I'm only sleeping in my

Gravy with the chips, you lot are always lugging round

On your shoulders like the world has never told you how you sound

Yeah, everytime I hear you moaning

If I only had a pound

I could've sold the house for nowt and built a solid tungsten bunker underground

I gave the drink up except for one shot of sake in Kyoto

A mescal in Mexico

A limoncello in Zucco

Still smoke loads though

Gotta look good in all these photos

Yeah I worry about all the same things you do as far as hope goes so

Put me in your magazine or I might just start my own and go full Howard Devoto

How hard is devotion?

How hard is putting on a show?

How deep is the ocean really?

Hello you, yes you

Do you feel like an imposter for every new level you ascend to too?

Did you pull the ladder up behind you 'cause all your friends became resentful?

No one has a clue

Do you have to bluff as much as I do?

Table service in fancy bars

Another hoop they make you jump through

What's wrong with just pushing in and shouting, excuse me love, dead loud

What's wrong with doubting yourself?

What's wrong with doubting yourself?

What's wrong with being proud?

What's wrong with being proud?

I can account for my whereabouts if you just check back on the camera

I don't wanna know how the magic works

It's par for the course to be cursed by the scourge of drinking straight from the source

What’s wrong with Leeds?

Come on, what were you thinking?

What's wrong with anywhere really

Of course London's more fun

If you like slumming it with lots of money

Cops bust your once trusted source

On the Conspiracy course

Crop circles can't cut the mustard

Groveling in the dirt, crying for your mum, stop

Just divorce yourself from all the noise and scrape the scum off the top

Young upstart, upskirting the rung above

Everybody's got their knickers in a twist up there too

And there's still no love to be found

Well maybe I'm looking dumb, done looking or just plain out of luck

'Cause when you're this self-obsessed, it's no wonder no one up on high gives a fuck

By now you're either with us or you're not

So you can sit down shut up and listen

Or switch this shit off