You can shove your degree from the university of life

You can stick your BSc from the hallowed hallways of the college of firth & fife

But i can’t spend another summer burning copies of my debut single in my bedroom

I can’t spend another sunday on the sofa crying as another opportunity passes me by

I wouldn’t wish my life upon anyone

So let’s abstain

I couldn’t share this life of grime

This doing time

So let’s refrain

My twenty-fifth birthday was melancholy but i wasn’t surprised because

My seventeenth birthday was melancholy but i wasn’t surprised because

My fifth birthday was… sad and lonely

Oh, well don’t they start so early these days?

Yes, they do!

I wouldn’t wish my life upon anyone

So let’s refrain

I couldn’t share this pantomime

This doing time

So let’s refrain

Now my friends are starting families

I’ve barely started on mine