The Knights Who Say "Ni"

Meanwhile, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere

Not more than a swallow's flight away, have discovered something

Ni! (Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!)

Who are you?

We are the Knights Who Say

'Ni'! (Ni!)

No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

The same!

Who are they?

We are the keepers of the sacred words

'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'! (Neee-wom!)

Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale

The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice

Knights of 'Ni', we are but simple travellers

Who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods

Ni! (Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!)

Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!

We shall say 'Ni' again to you if you do not appease us

Well, what is it you want?

We want...

A shrubbery!

A what?

(Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!) Ow! Oh!

Please! Please! No more!

We will find you a shrubbery

You must return here with a shrubbery

Or else, you will never pass through this wood... Alive

O Knights of 'Ni', you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery

One that looks nice

Of course

And not too expensive

Yes

Now...

Go!

O Knights of 'Ni', we have brought you your shrubbery

May we go now?

It is a good shrubbery! I like the laurels particularly

But there is one small problem

What is that?

We are now no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

Ni! (sh!)

We are now the Knights Who Say

'Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Pikang-Zoom-Boing-Gumzowehzeh' (Ni!)

Therefore, we must give you a test

What is this test, O Knights of

Knights Who 'Til Recently Said 'Ni'?

Firstly, you must find...

Another shrubbery! (Ni!)

Not another shrubbery!

Then! When you have found the shrubbery

You must place it here beside this shrubbery

Only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle

(A path! A path! Ni!)

Then, when you have found the shrubbery

You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with...

A herring!