Poor Unsuccessful and Fat

Time for your sponge bath!

Ugh, must I?

Honey, I don't wanna be here either!

(sung)

Poor, unsuccessful and fat

Who would’ve thought I would end like that?

Surely, in no time, you’ll be back to normal

In your evening formal

I’ll be poor, unsuccessful

Poor, unsuccessful and fat!

And getting older

Plus, have you noticed I sweat?

I have a list of things I regret

Don’t tell this story to little children

Cause you're gonna scare them

How I’m poor, unsuccessful

Poor, unsuccessful and fat

And getting older, getting greyer!

Stop me if you’ve heard this before

Cause if you’ve heard this before

Hell, it’s just more of the same!

Well..

Help me

I’m a player!

Who’ll never make it

I won’t make it, I won’t make it!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Once I was practically thin

Aww..

Now I can eat like I’m Rin Tin Tin

Soon you’ll be back home

A success in training

I’ll be here complaining

That I’m poor, unsuccessful

Poor, unsuccessful and fat

And getting older

I am not successful

I am not so damn successful..

I’m getting older!

I am not successful

I am not so damn successful

I’m getting older!

You’re not successful

I am not successful

You’re too old to be a failure

I’m too old to be a failure

Your future's looking cloudy

My future’s looking cloudy

Your sister is a whore

My sister’s a receptionist!

Bet your tush you’re unsuccessful!

Don’t mean to make this more stressful

Than it’s already become

But! you’re poor, unsuccessful and.. dumb

Poor, unsuccessful and dumb

And untalented!

Poor, unsuccessful and dumb

And untalented

Morbid, psychotically grim and untalented

That’s what we say about him

He’s untalented!