This little creature lives in your wardrobe

He's seen you fake it, he's seen you naked

He's been through your pockets and sucked out your secrets

He stole all your best lines, oh, it seems just like old times

There he comes, she swallows

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief

Da-da, da-da-da

Da-da, da-da-da

He's seen through your good shoes, rubbed off your red lips

He sits like a fat man curled round your thin hips

He messed up your bedsheets and sucked up your secrets

He stole all your best lines, oh, it seems just like old times

There he comes, she swallows

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief

That's no lover, that's a vanity thief