Anything Like Me

I remember sayin', "I don't care either way

Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay"

And then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen

And said, "You see that thing right there?

Well, you know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was gonna be

And I thought, "Heaven, help us

If he's anything like me"

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast

End up every summer wearin' something in a cast

He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass

In a window down the street

He's gonna get in trouble, he's gonna get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback

If he's anything like me

I can see him right now, knees all skinned up

With a magnifying glass, tryin' to melt a Tonka truck

Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on!

That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes along

He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens

And Heaven help him

If he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast

Get a speeding ticket, he'll pay for it mowing grass

He's gonna get caught skippin' class

And be grounded for a week

He's gonna get in trouble, we're gonna get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback

If he's anything like me

And he's gonna love me

And hate me along the way

The years are gonna fly by

Well, I already dread the day

He's gonna hug his momma

He's gonna shake my hand

He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out, he'll cry his eyes out

If he's anything like me

There's worse folks to be like

Aw, he'll be alright

If he's anything like me