R.I.P. (feat. Suhn)

I was 16 when the bell on the phone rings

It's my homie from church, an ex dope fiend

A little older, wore his heart on his shoulder

A hip-hop head so we connected on the totem

Back then, I'd kick verses and he'd be on the scrotum

I wish he were around to hear these verses that I wrote him

Just to clear the air, confusion and misquotings

A good kid with black clouds following his motions

Like, hear ye, hear ye, but they don't hear me

The headline I've read for the tenth time, it's eerie

Three dead including Sunday school teacher

An ex dope fiend turned extroverted church leader

Is this real? My hairs raised suddenly

I'm drowning in emotion while shivers swim subtly

I read on, an affair that ends tragic

Teacher pleads for life down the barrel of a magnum

Then point blank, shot dead together with his lover

Before the lover's husband took his own life from him

My eyes turned red, welled up, a watered gaze

From hurt, fear, and let down in lots of ways

God, why would You allow this if You save?

When evil lurked within, why did my homie disobey?

We got one life, is it okay to be afraid?

Many don't have that option stomping through this maze

Is it okay to be afraid?

Many don't have that option, so I mourn today

Rest in peace

Here one day, then gone away

Things will never be the same

Here one day, then gone away

And all that remains is the pain

I remember her soft skin and her caress

The mistakes that I made and her grace when I confessed

Like politics, me and her, it was complex

But all the stains would wash away each time our minds connect

We had history, old school like a cassette

Together, we opened doors, explored, she knew me best

I imagined us forever, ever, ever

But now I wish I never met her

Why won't this feeling let up?

I can't forget her, staring at our empty bed

The silence is screaming at me so I stay awake instead

And in the sheets, there's room for extra legs

On my phone, no SMS, missed calls, or messages

From tying the knot to farewells and crying

My stomach twisted up in knots like Bear Grylls tied them

The start and end it comes full sphere

From the cradle to the grave, I wish you were here

Here one day, yeah, then gone away

Things will never be the same

Here one day then gone away

And all that remains is the pain

I said, it's been a little while since I seen your face

Getting kinda hard to move on

But the pain is motivation and I'm doing my job

Drowning in emotion of the song

Yeah, it's been a little while since I seen your face

Getting kinda hard to move on

But the pain is motivation, though it's frustrating

You don't know what you have until it's gone, yeah

Oh, when it's gone

When it's gone away

Gone away

So far away