Hot Rod Lincoln

My pappy said "Son, you're gonna drive me to drink"

If you won't quit driving that hot rod Lincoln"

I heard the story of the hot rod race

Where the Fords and the Lincolns were settin' the pace

The story's true, I'm here to say

'Cause I was drivin' that Model A

It had a Model A body, made to look like a pup

Lincoln motor that was really souped up

Had eight cylinders, used 'em all

With overdrive, it just won't stall

Four Lincoln gears and a dual exhaust

In a four barrel carb, you could really get lost

Safety pinch? Ha ha, I ain't scared

The brakes are good and the tyres are fair

Pulled out of San Pedro late one night

The moon and the stars were shinin' bright

I was climbin' up the Grapevine Hill

Passin' cars like they was standin' still

All of a sudden, in the wink of an eye

A Cadillac sedan passed me by

And a remark was made, "That's the car for me"

But then the taillight was all you could see

Johnny ripped me for bein' behind

So I said, "Hey, I'll make my Lincoln unwind"

Took my foot off the gas and meant a lot

Shoved it down into overdrive

I wound it up to a hundred and ten

And I twisted the speedometer off the end

My foot was glued like lead to the floor

That's all there is, there ain't no more

Jack here figured I lost my sense

He said, "The telephone poles look like a picket fence

Slow down, I see spots

And the lines in the road look just like dots"

So I tuck a corner and I tried to cut

I crossed my fingers just for luck

The fenders were clickin' the guardrail post

The guy behind me was white as a ghost

Smoke was comin' from out of the back

When I started to gain on that Cadillac

And I knew I could catch 'em if I thought I could pass

But you know by then I'd be low on gas

Flame was shootin' from out of the side

You could feel the tension, man, what a ride

And I said, "Boys, I got a license to fly"

The Caddy pulled over, let me by

Big old white Freightliner pulled over, let me by

Taxicab, VW buses full of hippies, everybody pulled over

Johnny Cash, he pulled over, let me by

Duane Eddy pulled over with all the rebel rousers

Roy Orbison pulled over, he let me by

Johnny Rivers, Marty Robbins

Buck Owens, Buck Reed, Merle Travis pulled over

Merle Haggard, Bob Wills

Sugar McGarr, Lester Flatt pulled over

Earl Scruggs, Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry

Elmore James, Muddy Waters

Jimmy Reed pulled over

Link Wray, Stevie Ray

Freddie King pulled over

B.B. King, Albert King, Betty King

All the Kings, ladies and gentlemen

Carole King, Billie Jean King

Don King, Claude King, Pee Wee King, The Kings

Bunch of English guys

Deep Purple, The Rolling Stones

The Fab Four pulled over Jimmy!

I said, excuse me but I kissed this guy!

All of a sudden the rod started knocking it down

And the dip she started a rocking

I looked in the mirror, there was a red light

Blinking the cops after a hot rod of Lincoln

They arrested me, they threw me in jail

They called my pappy to go my bail

He said, "Son, you're gonna drive me to drink

If you won't quit driving that hot rod Lincoln"

All right!