(Man, look at Austyn being all emo, alone in his bedroom)

(We gotta get him out of the house, man)

(Bro just doesn't know how to fucking talk to people. The hell is his deal?)

(He's giving off those picked-last-in-gym-class, space cadet vibes)

(I think he's like autistic or some shit)

(He's fucking dumb)

28 with a foot in the grave

But I wear my pain with a smiling face

Maybe I'd sleep better if my bedroom smelled like sex

(Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen)

Yeah, I guess I'll go out now

Homies found a spot downtown

Where the drinks come cheap

Where we all go sing

Maybe if I get a little drunk, I wouldn't hate myself

(Keep drinking, buddy)

And maybe you'd come around

And I'd buy another round

And I'd shoot my shot

And I'd get shot down

Then I'd tell my friends you're not the only thing I'm thinking about

(Quit staring, you're being a fucking creep)

What's the worst I can say?

It's 2 AM, I don't wanna go home

And you look too good to be drinking alone

So I just wanna ask,

If you wanna do something dumb?

If you're looking for a man that is second to none

Well, honey that ain't me

But I can make you cum

So I just wanna ask

If you wanna do something dumb?

'Cause I'm fuckin' dumb!

Listen, fuck it, we can make this a date

You said you're hungry as hell

Honey, I know a place

Just pretend that you don't see that I'm looking up what's open now

Or we could go to my house

Have a drink on my couch

I could turn the TV on

I can sing you songs

Maybe since I've been a little drunk I wouldn't hate myself

(Hey, I was watching that!)

And then when we go to bed

I'd be in my head

While we're getting undressed

'Cause my room's a mess

I'd say to your face that you're the only thing I'm thinking about

(Do your fucking laundry!)

What's the worst I can say?

(Literally anything!)

It's 2 AM, I don't wanna go home

And you look too good to be drinking alone

So I just wanna ask,

If you wanna do something dumb?

If you're looking for a man that is second to none

Well, honey that ain't me

But I can make you cum

So I just wanna ask

If you wanna do something dumb?

(HE'S FUCKING DUMB!)

It's 2 AM, I don't wanna go home

And you look too good to be drinking alone

So I just wanna ask,

If you wanna do something dumb?

Listen, I've been checking you out, like, all night

And I just wanted to let you know

That, um...

I'm really fucking dumb!

It's 2 AM, I don't wanna go home

And you look too good to be drinking alone

So I just wanna ask,

If you wanna do something dumb?

(Hey, I'm dumb!)

If you're looking for a man that is second to none

Well, honey that ain't me

But I can make you cum

So I just wanna ask

If you wanna do something dumb?

'Cause I'm fuckin' dumb!

*belch*

(We were gonna wait for Austyn to come and do that)

(oh well)

(Yeah, alright)