I built the walls so the wind could move through them

I made the rules so I could break them safely

I drew the map so I could get lost on purpose

I needed something to push against

I kept the hours like they were keeping me

I followed the rhythm until it became my own

I practiced restraint like it was a kind of prayer

Until surrender stopped feeling like failure

I want the structure

I want the wild

I want the map

And the dark between the lines

Discipline is how I make room for the moment

Order is how I stop running from myself

I built the system so I could leave it

I found the edge so I could cross it

I want the structure

I want the wild

I want the map

And the dark between the lines

I am both the system and the surrender

I am the wall and the wind that passes through it

I no longer have to choose

Between the order and the open

I am both the system and the surrender

And I no longer have to choose