Rasputin vs Stalin

Epic rap battles of history

Rasputin versus Stalin

Begin

Cool mustache, Wario

Try messing with the Mad Monk you'll be sorry, yo

How many dictators does it take

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people

Yo daddy beat you like a dog, and now you're evil

You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia

And the history books unfold ya

As a messed up motherfucker bent in the mind

Who built a superpower but he paid the price

With the endless destruction of Russian lives

If you're the man of steel, I spit kryptonite

Big dick mystic known to hypnotize

I could end you with a whisper to your wife

Look into my eyes you perverted witch

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch?

You think I give a fuck about my wife?

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock

I'd leave your neck in a noose, in a trench, and shot

Your whole family? Shot!

All your wizard friends? Shot!

Anyone who sold you pierogi? Shot!

Starve you for days 'til you waste away

I even crush motherfuckers when I'm laid in state

Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture

Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler

I have no pride for you who ruined everything

My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie!

I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein!

Looking like something out of RL Stine

It's hip hop chowder, red over white

'Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight!

And Joseph you were supposed to be my right-hand man

But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man!

Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Did somebody say birthmarks?

Yo, I'm the host with the most Glasnost

Assholes made a mess and the war got cold

Shook hands with both Ronald Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt

If your name end with "in", time to get out!

I had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa

Torn down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah

You two need yoga, you need a shower

And you all need to learn how to handle real power

Did somebody say real power?

Дa, you want to mess with me?

I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats

Blow it up like a tuba while I'm balling in Cuba

Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука

I'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me

The last man who attacked me, lived a half-life, so comrade come at me

You don't know what you're doing

When you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin

You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!