Well, some folks say that grown-up men are still just little boys

But really the only difference is the price of our toys

We go from macho symbols, like guns and running shoes

Pickup trucks, hunting ducks, and (vroom) power tools

Power tools (power tools)

Power tools (power tools)

Yeah, just plug 'em in the wall and think of all you can do

You can plant a garden, fix your car

Build a house if you want to

If you got the proper power tools (power tools)

Hello, emergency room?

Yeah, I just fired up my new gas-powered weed whacker there

And somehow or another it got caught in the hammer loop

Of my Big Smith overalls

Yeah, before I could get her set down

She plumb screwed me about three foot in the front lawn there

Yeah, my wife hollered out the front door

"Hey, Shorty, while you're down there now

How 'bout checking the fescue for aphids"

Huh, she's a real comedian, that woman

Hardy-har-har!

Well, some folks say that macho men use tools to compensate

For a decline in virility, now I thought about that and wait

There may be some validity in what those people say

But in my case, it's just the only way, I get to go outside and play

Hutt-hutt, vroom

Boy, I love this stuff

Power tools (power tools)

Power tools (power tools)

Oh, just plug 'em in the wall and think of all you can do

You can plant a garden, fix your car

Build a house, if you want to

If you got the proper power tools (power tools)

Hello, 9-1-1

Yeah, I was just in the garden there

Tryin' out my new direct-drive rototiller

When the rawhide lace from my Red Goose work shoe

Somehow or another got tangled in that outboard tiller tie

Yeah, before I could get her shut down

She plumb drug me clean across the lawn

Up underneath the neighbor's Toyota four by four

Wife hollered our the door, "Hey, Shorty!"

Funny how a name will stick with you like that

Said, "Hey, Shorty, if you're gonna play Mr. Goodwrench

Looks like you'd fix our old jalopy first"

I tell you, that woman's a regular Rosanne Barr

Well, 9-1-1 rescued me, carried me away

To the local hospital for at least a two-week stay

The doctor said, "I hope you've learned your lesson

Thanks to power tools you're nearly dead"

I didn't hear a word he said, I was playing with my power bed

Uh!

Power tools (power tools)

Power tools (power tools)

Hello, nurse's station?

Could you please send somebody to room 403? Quick!

Yeah, my power bed's stuck in the up position

I'm folding up in here like a big taco

Oh, oh-oh

Power tool

Yeah, if you got the proper power tools

Hello, honey?

Don't be alarmed

Just quietly evacuate the neighborhood and call the bomb squad