Black People

Black people, I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet 'cause I'ma take that too

Black people, hey

Black people, one big family

With a really big bucket of KFC

Black people (Seriously, like all of us are related)

I ran into an old amigo named Juan Luis

The Mexican called me apple 'cause we both hang from trees

Now I, I kinda took that in a joking way

But was he talking 'bout monkeys or the KKK?

We don't get sunburnt, just ashen knees

And we don't chew tobacco, but we will smoke weed

Puff, puff, pass like the train that could

And we can't spell neighbor, so we call it the hood

And most of us will die with our finger on the trigger

I guess that's why they say I'm just a filthy little spear chuckin'

Chicken eatin', melon suckin', lone fetus, weed smokin'

Long penis, well, you get the picture

They tried to keep us out the White House again

But just like all white houses, one of us broke in

And welfare and diapers is all we got

If you don't wear my favorite color, then you might get shot

My favorite color is purple, by the way

A black woman came to me to bash my song

I told her, all blacks are democrat, now prove me wrong

Black people, I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet 'cause I'ma take that too

Black people, hey

Black people, one big family

With a really big bucket of KFC

Black people

And it doesn't have to be KFC, we like Popeye's biscuits too

Hey, hey

What's a black song without any rap in it, right?

Yo, check it

Uh, yo, yo, yo

It always start off that way, right?

Yo

Now, there's a line between discriminatin' and not in different places

You are if you use the N word, but if you're black then you're not racist

I mean, well, I guess you can, just not around your black friends

You'll get jumped by every cousin

Including the one behind that trashcan

Now, let me tell you a story, back before America was stolen

There were two tribes of black people, the Indians and the poor ones

The Indians were like caramel, the poor one's were like sharpies

I guess that's why they call them pilgrims, and why they call us darkies

The Indians had all the horses, land, turkeys, the geniuses

The poor one's killed their horses, took their hair and their penises

But, uh, there's not really a moral to this story though

Except that we will steal your goodies, and that is how the story goes

Black people, I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet 'cause I'ma take that too

Black people, hey

Black people, one big family

With a really big bucket of KFC

Black people

Black people since '72

Goin' broke, makin' cheap cars, taller than you

Black people

Ok, you gotta admit, we do have some nice rims though, right?

Black people, front porch monkey

With a blunt and a banana, ooh-ah-ee-ee

Black people, hey, hey

This is probably the most racist song I've ever written

But if you laughed you're racist too

So I don't feel bad, besides, it's not racist if I'm black