MILK

I ain't the same nigga that I once was I lost my fuckin' mind and then I fell in love I did a bunch of drugs, because I couldn't sleep I lost a couple months, I chipped my fuckin' teeth And there's a couple women, and they know some things About lies that I done told and shit that I done said And niggas that I robbed, so I'm real paranoid I have voices in my head Hi, my name is Merlyn, I just applied for food stamps I just moved to California, with my boy band Dropped out of a good school, hippies in my commune I left 'fore the rent was due, used to want a briefcase And a short commute, used to wanna sell coke And whip an Audi coupe, crazy if I did that Wouldn't be talkin' to you Walkin' through the pit falls of a college student Crazy how you get them letters and that make you feel accepted 'Til you walkin' 'round the campus and you the only African Nobody with passion, just cats that take direction well Take acid trips to find themselves, well... I gotta get better at bein' me (Bein' who I am) I gotta get better at everything (Bein' who I am) I just want a friend that I can hang out with (Bein' who I am) Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with (Bein' who I am) Ever since I moved out, I've been broke Ever since I grew up, I've been ugly Ooh, I need get me some dollar, dollar, dollar bills, y'all Ever since I left my momma house, I've been mad as hell at the world Sometimes you don't gotta rhyme when you feel it Sometimes I barely ever feel a fuckin' thang Sometimes I wish that my fuckin' phone would fuckin' ring And go off, and wake a nigga up I'm used to bein' sad and I'm used to bein' down I'm used to bein' used, I miss my boy bein' around I gotta get better at bein' me (Bein' who I am) I gotta get better at everything (Bein' who I am) I just want a friend that I can hang out with (Bein' who I am) Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with (Bein' who I am) Droppin' all I got on this one day I just wanna be somebody someday Droppin' all I got on this one way I just wanna be somebody someday Droppin' all I got on this one day I just wanna be somebody someday Droppin' all I got on this one way I just wanna be somebody someday I gotta get better at bein' me (Bein' who I am) I gotta get better at everything (Bein' who I am) I just want a friend that I can hang out with (Bein' who I am) Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with (Bein' who I am) I'm tryin' to look for motivation of smaller things But baby steps to my atonement, when I foster dreams I've been told I'm too transparent with my thoughts sometimes So I wrote songs until they pass, and I can fall in line I fell apart the moment that you thought you found yourself 'Cause I knew at that point, I couldn't be in the equation anymore But movin' on with open, broken hearts Will show you everything you need to see About yourself to start movin' forward So many things I wanna say that I'm not sure need to be known But everybody swears they fuckin' know me So why, don't I lay every card I'm holdin' on the table? At that point I wonder what they'd show me I almost lost my father, still surreal for me to think about Considerin' how many of my friends have lost theirs I never know if what I'm sayin' is the right thing If not, I'm ready more than ever for the crosshairs It's all fair when it's not you Some people have angels, what if only shadows follow you? And all the ghosts inside that seem to hollow you The branches of the weepin' willow start to swallow you And then you realize you're exactly where you're supposed to be The horizon clears, you wipe the tears And all the skeletons are ready for your story