Closure

Ay yo, put the beat on Boom, Pain, Underrated Legend, Pain, Pain, Pain, Pain Wallahi this is all true, it's all true still Ight, look So a big part of my life has been chicks and no I can't lie about that And if I keep it real I never thought again I'd have to write about that See, word I was still in love when I wrote slut Just words, them scars weren't closed up But since it gave me exposure, it's only right I tell you my closure Slut Man I was so real to the page, so real to the extent that Man I even used real names, Cherise she text me once on a mad ting Tara kinda treats me like a germ and the girl that Done the monkey bar ting, well, well shes just doing her Man listen, not that same one that my last freestyle was about But love from West to the South Thought I was over the girl until I saw her out And family I was all shocked 'cause I've been Thinking about this girl like every day in every way So yeah of course we speak and Numbers exchange and now im happy as fuck Because now I'm back with the love of my life Doing all kind of shit like kissing on North while it was two o'clock at night A good guy now, I ain't hitting whenever Even crashed my car spitting together You know when the kiss is perfect Come like puzzle pieces fitting together That's when I told her "Wait though If we're doing this then we've gotta do this right "I'ma tell you all the shit that I've been on The last couple years, there's shit you won't like "But I'ma be honest and I'ma be real to the T "I've gotta make sure some next girl can never come to you about me" And that's when I started talking Man I told her all of the girls that I beat, all the problems with me The one night stands and the girls that I met on IG But when it was her turn she said "There ain't a dream I can sell you "And really my life's been boring And there ain't nothing to tell you" And man I believed her or maybe I was naive Or gassed that the girl I was thinking About for the last four years was by me And like that feeling it weren't gone away And her mum even took us on a holiday And now I'm deep in the 9 [?] Couple months in, I've got the key to the crib But, but then I got distant though 'cause I got that iffy vibe Like, I'll be catching her out telling silly lies Like, if you're my woman then why I gotta catch you out? And it's dumb shit, like shit you ain't even gotta lie about And this is when I turned into a fuckboy Man I can't lie man, I just weren't with it Even though I still loved her mad Something couldn't sit with my spirit Never called her beautiful once No attention, her time I had none of it The most I would do Pull up on a late night random one if I felt like cuddling And that's when I got that phone call though And you know how it goes like Like "Blaine, there's something you should know "I just took a pregnancy test, and look man, it came back positive "And right now I can't have an abortion Looks like we just gotta get on with it" And me I can't lie how I acted It was all loose man, I started backtracking When I heard the word 'baby' I just panicked And asked her again "Are you sure you wanna have it?" And she said the doctors told her before that she can't have a baby So the thought of having an abortion Na, na, having a yout' is all crazy now Look, see when a baby ain't planned There's some stages you go through as a man The first stage is na She ain't having this yout', I gotta talk to her harder The second stage is look man I gotta Man up because I'm gonna be a father Pull it off, I still told my mother I'm thinking that she's gonna get mad at me And all she said was "Blaine, do not bring a mad gyal in my family" Told my sister but she weren't having it, and right now I'm excited But anyway fuck that part It's the second part that hit me like lightening I got a phone call out of the blue like "Blaine where you at? And can you come round?" And I said "Now?" and she said "Now!" So I says fuck it and drove from South Blew until I pulled up to the crib Got in the lift, put the key through the door And all I can see is her there With her arms around her belly on the floor I'm like "Yo baby, tell me what's wrong? " She's saying "I've bled and my belly keeps hurting" I keep phoning the ambulance over and Over again but this shit ain't working They pull up in what seems like forever Me I'm shocked, I don't know what it means We get to the hospital They take her blood, holding her hand waiting to be seen And then some young white lady steps in She clears her throat and she looks up Slow and says "You're no longer pregnant" And, man it kinda hit me in the worst way 'Cause it happened like three days before my birthday Now, now me and her's back on track But I can't like a real shot I ain't giving it 'Cause I've got this feeling saying that I Can't trust her, and look man, I can't get rid of it Man I gotta talk to her, I gotta talk to her I'ma see her next week and that's when I'll talk to her I picked her up so I can drop her at Airport, I said I'm tired so she can drive And I'm just there in the passenger seat And I'm looking at her square in the eyes And I say "What I'm about to say, man I ain't tryna cuss you "I really wanna make this work but I feel like I can't trust you "And look I don't know what it is but I've got a feeling so deep in my ribs "Months ago you was gonna have my kid And now I feel that the solution is to "Let me have a look in your phone It might sound dumb and I might sound Young but let me have a look in your phone "Don't get it twisted, I'm grown but let me have a look in your phone "I'll see nothing, I'll stop bugging We'll get to trusting We'll build something, you'll probably be cussing "Like I told you there was nothing in my Phone, and word on my life, I'll let that go "But let me have a look in your phone" and then she said "No" and I Said "Word? I swear you want me to take You serious, and word that's what I'm tryna do "So, you've gotta respect how I'm tryna move "Five years deep, you'll let that go Just to not let me look in your phone" She looked back with a worried and scared face and then she said "No" And look you see that kinda iffy Man I let that go so quickly Still went to the airport just to let her off And then I put my key right though the letter box Look, what was in her phone? Man I would never know But nine times out of ten there was the maddest tings in her phone Now I get a phone call few days Later, she's like "Hi", I'm like "Waddup?" She's like "Now you can look through my phone" I'm like "Shut up" Three months after, I'm in Shoreditch, and I see her cousin And she pulls me to the side like "I wanna talk to you about something" And I'm like "Calm We can step out the bar, and me and you can go and speak in the car" And she's like "I don't talk to my cousin No more man, she takes things kind of far" And I'm like "Wait there, what do you wanna say to me?" And she goes "Uhm, shit I don't know how to say this but, I don't really wanna say no dirt "But when you was with her She was chatting to a couple man, and there was this guy from work "And when she was having his kid She showed up to my crib 'cause she Weren't sure like if it was yours or his" And I said "Wait there, how do you know?" She says "On my daughter's life I know And I'm only telling you because I don't speak to her anymore" And I couldn't care about the Cheating but the child shit hit me harder Man I got excited and I told my mum That I might not have been that father But I guess I didn't know that lady After the miscarriage, shit got crazy She looked back like "Miscarriage What?" I said "Yeah, she miscarried my baby" She said "Wait there Blame, are you sure?" I said "I saw her on the floor "We both went to the hospital and they Said that the child weren't there anymore" And she said "When this happen? Around the end of Feb?" I said "Yeah, how you know?" she said "Fuck man, these girls are dred" I said "Wait, what you mean? " She said "On my daughter's life I'm talking "But in the middle of February, I took her to get an abortion" See gyal are fucked like that Yeah man fuck up, but mans fuck ups ain't fucked like that Are you even clocking the play? So the miscarriage and her being on the floor was all staged And then they ask why man's so bitter And man turned into your average nigga Saying how you can't trust these Women, trust rudeboy, man it can't get realer But if I learnt one thing out of this Whole thing, you've gotta go with your gut But you ain't gotta take my advice 'cause I'm just Cadet AKA The Slut You feel me?