Burlington Bertie

I'm Bert, p'raps you've heard of me Bert, you've had word of me, Jogging along, hearty and strong Living on plates of fresh air I dress, up in fashion And when I am feeling depressed I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff Stick my hat on and toddle up West I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And saunter along like a toff I stroll down the Strand with my gloves in my hand Then I stroll down again with them off I'm all airs and graces, correct easy paces Without food so long I've forgot where my face is I'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirt But my people are well off you know. Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow. I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And saunter along Temple Bar As down there I skip I keep shouting 'Pip Pip!' And the darn'd fools think I'm in my car At Rothschild's I swank it My body I plank it Across his front door step with 'The Mail' for a blanket I'm Bert, Bert, and Rothschild was hurt He said ' You can't sleep here' I said 'Oh' He said 'I'm Rothschild sonny!' I said 'That's rather funny, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow' I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And reach Kempton Park about three I stand by the rail, when a horse is for sale And you ought to see Piggot watch me I lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawning Then he bids two thousand and I bid Good Morning I'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one, a cert But where would I keep it you know I can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-gee I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow! I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty And Buckingham Palace I view. I stand in the yard while they're changing the guard And the queen shouts across "Toodle oo"! The Prince of Wales' brother along with some other Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother" I'm Bert, Bert, and Royalty's hurt, When they ask me to dine I say no. I've just had a banana with Lady Diana I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow I'm Burlington Bertie I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.