Sweating Blood

I wasn't trying to be difficult When I collapsed on the floor and couldn't get up I don't know if I can bear this cup I don't know how long I can keep sweating blood I'm getting tired Of being old for my age The light burns like a fire When I'm up on this stage Why do so many girls seem to asking If I'm willing to commit suicide for my family? As if it's not love if I can't pay the price As if I'm not like Christ if I don't hate my life What if I'm real? What if it's not a pull? What if I'm not a steal? What if I'm hatable? How could I dare to write a poem If I can't pay the mortgage on my home? How could I care about my soul If I'm not filling the masculine role? Honey, making art? Honey, how could you sleep? You're behaving like a child With children to feed Why is no one impressed Until I turn around with my paycheck? Until I pay my bills and can afford To not need anyone else anymore Do you even care If I die inside Or do you just want A responsible family man's respectable life? I always wanted to be like Christ But I can't live my life on the firing line I always wanted a family to feed But I'm not gonna burn my poetry I always wanted a wife to adore But I won't die up on this white horse I won't give up the ghost I won't abort my unborn soul I won't give up the ghost I won't abort my unborn soul I won't give up the ghost I won't abort my unborn soul I won't give up the ghost I won't abort my unborn soul