The Illinois Enema Bandit

The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he's on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams Of all them college-educated women Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up (They'd be all bound down!) Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington Illinois He has caused some alarm Just sneakin' around there From farm to farm Got a rubberized bag And a hose on his arm Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump The Illinois Enema Bandit One day he'll have to pay One day he'll have to pay The police will say, "You're under arrest!" And the D.A. would have him for a special guest The D.A. will order a secret test And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks (that's you) And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!" Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy Hot soap water in the first degree!" And then the bandit might say "Why is everybody looking' at me?" Well did you cause this misery? Well did you cause this misery? Well did you cause this misery? Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!" Bandit are you guilty? Bandit are you guilty? Tell me now, what's your plea? Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!" Are you guilty? Bandit, did you do these deeds? The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..."