Beautiful

September 1st, 1989 Dear diary I think I'm a good person I believe there's good in everyone But here we are, first day of senior year I see these kids I've known all my life and wonder What happened? Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass! We were so tiny Happy and shiny Playing tag and getting chased Freak! Slut! Loser! Short bus! Singing and clapping Laughing and napping Baking cookies, eating paste Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback! Then we got bigger That was the trigger Like the Huns invading Rome Move! Sorry! Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school This is the Thunderdome Hold your breath and count the days We're graduating soon White trash College will be paradise If I'm not dead by June But I know, I know Life can be beautiful I pray, I pray For a better way If we changed back then We could change again We can be beautiful Ow! Just not today Hey, are you okay? Get away, nerd! Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo! Things will get better Soon as my letter Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown Wake from this coma Take my diploma Then I can blow this town Dream of ivy-covered walls And smoky French cafés Watch this! Fight the urge to strike a match And set this dump ablaze Oops Ram Sweeney Third year as linebacker And eighth year of smacking lunch trays And being a huge dick What did you say to me, skank? Nothing! But I know, I know Life can be beautiful I pray, I pray For a better way We were kind before We can be kind once more We can be beautiful (beautiful) Aagh! Hey, Martha Hey! Martha Dunnstock, my best friend since diapers She's got a huge heart 'Round here, that's not enough Thanks We on for movie night? You're on Jiffy Pop detail I rented 'The Princess Bride' Again? Don't you have it memorised by now? What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending Martha Dumptruck If you wanna lose a few pounds You need more protein in your diet Kurt Kelly, quarterback He is the smartest guy on the football team Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf What is wrong with you? I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me? My buddy Kurt asked you a question What gives you the right to pick on my friend? Look at you You're a high school has-been waiting to happen A future gas station attendant You got a zit right there Dear diary Why? Why do they hate me? Why don't I fight back? Why do I act like such a creep? Why? Why won't he date me? Why did I wear this? Why do I cry myself to sleep? Why? Somebody hug me Somebody fix me Somebody save me Send me a sign, God Give me some hope, here Something to live for Ah, Heather, Heather, and Heather Then there's the Heathers They float above it all I love Heather, Heather, and Heather (I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather) Heather McNamara, head cheerleader Her dad's loaded, he sells engagement rings (I want Heather, Heather, and Heather) Heather Duke, runs the yearbook No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants (I need Heather, Heather) And Heather Chandler, the Almighty She is a mythic bitch The Heathers are solid Teflon Never bothered, never harassed I would give anything to be like that I'd like to be their boyfriend That would be beautiful If I sat at their table, guys would notice me So beautiful I'd like them to be nicer That would be beautiful I'd like to kidnap a Heather And photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse And leave her tied up for the rats Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so '87 Heather, I need a mint What you need, Heather, is to see a doctor Ah, Heather and Heather And Heather Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting You're late for class Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her Not without a hall pass you're not, a week's detention What? No way, that's not fair But I've got cheerleader practice (my parents pay your salary) Actually, Ms. Fleming All four of us are out on a hall pass Yearbook committee I see you're all listed Hurry up and get where you're going This is an excellent forgery Who are you? Veronica Sawyer I crave a boon What boon? Let me sit at your table, at lunch, just once No talking necessary If people think you guys tolerate me They'll leave me alone Before you answer I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes How about prescriptions? Shut up, Heather Sorry, Heather For a greasy little nobody You do have good bone structure And a symmetrical face If I took a meat cleaver down the centre of your skull I'd have matching halves That's very important Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds And you know, you know, you know? This could be beautiful Mascara, maybe some lip gloss And we're on our way Get this girl some blush And Heather, I need your brush Let's make her beautiful Let's make her beautiful Let's make her beautiful Make her beautiful Okay? Okay! Out of my way, geek I don't want trouble You're gonna die at 3 p.m. Don't you dare touch me Get away, pervert What did I ever do to them? Who could survive this? I can't escape this I think I'm dying Who's that with Heather? Whoa Heather, Heather, Heather And someone Heather, Heather, Heather And a babe Heather, Heather, Heather Veronica? Veronica? Veronica? Veronica! And you know, you know, you know Life can be beautiful You hope, you dream, you pray And you get your way Ask me how it feels Looking like hell on wheels My God, it's beautiful (beautiful) I might be beautiful (beautiful) And when you're beautiful It's a beautiful frickin' day (Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!) Yeah-eah-eah (Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!) Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!