Someone You Loved (Parody)

I just got back from the clinic And I'm afraid it's bad news So now, I'm writing down this song about it Hoping it gets views Don't know how I'm still alive Or how I survive She said I've got five Nasty STIs Got some in my balls Got some in my ass What's worse is my weird ginger pubes are crawling with crabs I've got herpes from a booty call I got syphilis from a blow up doll I got chlamydia and it's so sore And I don't even know where I got genital warts My pubes are rich And now I feel like I've created my own zoo Honestly, there's so many I could probably cook up some seafood It was only a kiss A bit of romance On her juicy lips The ones in her pants It was so beautiful But I nearly cried When I received the present, she had waited inside I got herpes from a booty call I got syphilis from a blow up doll I got chlamydia and it's so sore And I don't even know where I got genital warts Oh, wait, I just got a call From the clinic They mixed up my results The ones they gave me No, they weren't mine Apparently they belong to some conductor guy