Jilted John

I've been going out with a girl Her name is Julie But last night she said to me When we were watching telly (This is what she said) She said listen John, I love you But there's this bloke, I fancy I don't want to two time you So it's the end for you and me Who's this bloke I asked her Gordon, she replied Not that puff, I said dismayed Yes but he's no puff she cried (He's more of a man than you'll ever be) Here we go, two three four I was so upset that I cried All the way to the chip shop When I came out there was Gordon Standing at the bus stop (And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me) Oh, she is cruel and heartless To pack me for Gordon Just cos he's better looking than me Just cos he's cool and trendy But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron Here we go, two three four Oh she's a slag and he's a creep She's a tart, he's very cheap She is a slut, he thinks he's tough She is a bitch, he is a puff Yeah yeah, it's not fair Yeah yeah, it's not fair (I'm so upset) I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah (I ought to smash his face in.) (Yeah, but he's bigger than me, isn't he?) (I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him) (Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?) (Oh well, I don't care) I don't care I don't care 'Cause she's a slag and he's a creep She's a tart, he's very cheap She is a slut, he thinks he's tough