Feed the Beast

'(Andy Samberg)' My car, my house, my kid, my spouse My team, my dream, I gots to feed the beast My glutes, my bod, they say, "My God" My tries, my calves, my thighs The hits, the tags, the sex, the crabs The road, the bus, my tiny little nuts Your finger, my butt, you know what's up The bumps, the slumps, the motherfucking umps The fans, the heckles, the girls with the freckles They're trying to distract me from trying to be special These pompous fucking pitchers trying to strike your man out And these scummy bloodsuckers looking for a handout (Out) (Akiva Schaffer & "Andy Samberg") The stress, the press, the beautiful mess The razors I use to shave my chest The bills, the pill, the views from the hills My streaks, my ruts, my tiny little nuts My mom, my burden, I'm not a virgin The aches, the pain, the heat, the rain The lies, the secrets, José, I'll keep it "And Mark, I'll keep it, we'll keep our secret" (Our secret) Feed the beast Feed the beast Feed the beast (Andy Samberg) They say it's lonely at the top But I got hella homies, like Mark Plus the guy that gets my blow for me Plus the guy that gets my 'roids for me And my cars for me and my money manager That collects my dough for me Plus my private bodyguard Always on patrol for me Plus the lady that I pay to suggest Merlots for me Plus my agent, my real best friend Yeah my agent, he'll be there 'til the end My sports agent, I trust him with my life The only one that truly understands my strife Together we'll achieve the most amazing heights He knows what I like and he treats me right