Hey Ladies

(Hey) hey ladies in the place, I'm callin' out to ya There never was a city kid truer and bluer There's more to me than you'll ever know And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery Date women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery Words flowin' out just like the Grand Canyon And I'm always out lookin' for a female companion I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib I took off her moccasins and put on the bib Wheelin' and dealin', I make a little bit of a stealin' I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peelin' Your body's on time and your mind is appealin' Starin' at the cracks up there up on the ceilin' Such and such will be the bass that I'm throwin' I'm talking to a girl, telling her I'm all-knowin' She's talking to the kid (who? to the kid) I'm telling her every lie that you know that I never did Hey ladies, get funky All the ladies in the house The ladies, the ladies Well, me in the corner with a good-lookin' daughter I dropped my drawers, said, "Welcome back, Kotter" We was cuttin' up the rug, she started cuttin' up the carpet In my apartment, I begged her, "Please, stop it" The gift of gab is the gift that I have And that girl ain't nothin' but a crab Educated (no), stupid (yep) And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in Charge I'm Adam and I'm adamant about livin' large With the white sassoons and the looks that kill Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville Then I met a little cutie, she was all hopped up on zootie I liked the little cutie, but I kicked her in the booty 'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around You be listenin' to my records, a number one sound Just step, step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride I've got an open mind, so why don't you all get inside? Tune in, turn on, to my tune that's live Ladies flock like bees to a hive Hey ladies, get funky Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies One more time, ain't it funky now Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey ladies Ain't it funky now (you know that) She's got a gold tooth, you know she's hardcore She'll show you a good time, then she'll show you the door Break up with your girl, it ended in tears Vincent Van Gogh, go and mail that ear I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinkin' The phone booth on the corner is damp, and it's stinkin' She said come on over, it was me that she missed I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed Your old lady left you and you went insane You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 Train Well, take my advice at any price A gorilla like your mother is mighty weak, man Suckin' down pints 'til I didn't know Woke up in the morning with the one ton Ho 'Cause I announce, I like girls that bounce With the weight that pays, about a pound per ounce Girls with curls, and big long locks And beatnik chicks, just wearing their smocks Walkin' high and mighty like she's number one She thinks she's the passionate one Hey ladies, get funky What's that? Good god Good god, dance Good god Baby, baby, baby, baby Ain't it funky, brother? He, ha, ha, ha Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies Hey, hey ladies