A Little Priest

That's all very well But what are we gonna do about him? Later on when it's dark We'll take it to some secret place and bury him Oh yeah, of course we could do that Don't suppose he's got any relatives Gonna come poking around looking for him Seems a downright shame (shame?) Seems an awful waste Such a nice plump frame What's his name has, had? Has Nor he can't be traced Business needs a lift Debts to be erased Think of it as thrift, as a gift If you get my drift Seems an awful waste I mean, with the price of meat, what it is When you get it, if you get it (ah!) Good, you got it Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop Business never better, using only pussycats and toast Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion aminently practical (well, it does seem a waste) And yet appropriate as always Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years, I'll never know (think about it) How delectable (lots of other gentlemen'll soon) Also undetectable (be comin' for a shave, won't they?) How choice, how rare (think of all them pies) For what's the sound of the world out there? What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound? Those crunching noises pervading the air Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around It's man devouring man, my dear Then who are we to deny it in here? These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett Desperate measures are called for Here we are, hot out of the oven What is that? It's priest, have a little priest (is it really good?) Sir, it's too good, at least Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh So it's pretty fresh Awful lot of fat (only where it sat) Haven't you got poet, or something like that? No, you see, the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased? Try the priest Lawyer's rather nice (if it's for a price) Order something else, though, to follow Since no one should swallow it twice (anything that's lean?) Well, then, if you're British and loyal You might enjoy royal marine Anyway, it's clean Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been (is that squire on the fire?) Mercy no, sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer (looks thicker, more like vicar) No, it has to be grocer, it's green The history of the world, my love Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors Is those below serving those up above? Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors How gratifying for once to know That those above will serve those down below What is that? It's fop, finest in the shop Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top And I've just begun Here's the politician, so oily it's served with a doily, have one Put it on a bun Well, you never know if it's going to run Try the friar, fried, it's drier No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy Then actor, it's compacter Ah, but always arrives overdone I'll come again when you have judge on the menu Have charity towards the world, my pet Yes, yes, I know, my love We'll take the customers that we can get High-born and low, my love We'll not discriminate great from small No, we'll serve anyone Meaning anyone (we'll serve anyone) And to anyone at all!