Tired of Art

Hanging on indecision Hanging by a tiny thread I want real purpose I want to deserve this I want to believe I want the real thing I want to give everything I have I tried to be true I was trying to be consumed Metastasize the truth 'Til it's weaponized to break me through I'm living in a desperate age A floodlight in the night demanding day But I need the darkness I'm tired of catharsis I'm tired of art I've read too much Jean Paul Sartre I think it's time to admit I've changed I tried to be true I was trying be consumed The spotlight was confused Or maybe I chose the wrong muse I became a whore to proclaim The word of the Lord in search of fame I was so pornographic Going down on the mattress Peddling belief Trying to get paid for prophecy Trying to win without admitting I played